Top 10 Online Dating Mistakes Made by Men

Geplaatst op 15-01-2025

Categorie: Lifestyle

I am constantly hearing guys talk about how easy online dating is. If you are an average guy and in that top 0.01% of men who can fill up an entire week with dates because you’ve figured out the secret, congratulations… you need not read any further.

For the rest of you, continue on…

Unfortunately, your average Joe blows his opportunities before he even gets a chance to meet a girl in person. Even so, many of those guys that do end up on dates are still performing poorly because they lack experience and common sense. These statements have been personally vindicated by the majority of the girls I’ve been out with. Yes, I’ve had dozens of girls actually tell me that most of their other online dating experiences and first dates were absolutely terrible.

If it was really that easy then every guy out there would be banging girls they met off of dating sites constantly. We know that is not the case, since there are plenty of men who can’t even land a date through the internet, much less take them home. So, where is the disconnect?

Sometimes, the key to improving is to first realize what you are doing wrong.

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The Top 10 Mistakes Made by Men with Online Dating

#10 - Poor Venue Choices

A bad meeting spot can kill the mood for you and your companion, especially if the place was not conducive to great conversation to begin with. Coffee and dinner dates don’t allow you to get intimate and inhibitions remain high. When is the last time you made out with a girl in a coffee shop?

Exactly.

Drink dates are the one reliable venue choice that consistently delivers positive results. This saves you time, money, and cuts through the bull shit formalities. It also makes your date feel comfortable with you, lest you make a fool out of yourself or come across as a creep. Let some other poor sap waste $80 on a meal that isn’t getting you laid.

Do your homework. Pick a bar that isn’t going to kill your logistics or the conversation. It should be something low-key enough that you can talk without yelling at each other, but not so divey that she feels overdressed (if you’re in DC, she’s probably dressing trashy and wearing flip-flops anyway).

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#9 – Inability to Close Quickly

Girls, like cats (thanks Roosh), lose interest extremely quickly. In the online dating world, you can multiply this ten fold. There’s no shortage of guys eager to talk to women. In fact, on any given day the average female receives a few dozen messages (with the hottest girls getting a hundred or more).

Were things going great and suddenly she stopped responding to your messages? There’s a good chance another, smoother guy got to her first. This isn’t the little league of dating, you need to step your game up and treat it like dog-eat-dog competition it is.

With other guys, their problem is the seemingly never-ending emails go back and forth for weeks. News Flash: You’re the man. She’s waiting for you to ask her out dude. If you ever come across a girl who claims she wants to get to know you better first online, you had better convince her why that is pointless or simply move on to the next one.

Your goal should be to meet as soon as possible. Not only do these girls move extremely fast, but every message you send has the potential to disqualify you. Should you say something that rules you out as a potential mate, there is little chance of recovery and contact will likely end.

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#8 – Lying

Creating a profile isn’t always as easy as it sounds. How do you know what women are looking for? If you want any real shot, you have to keep the lying to a minimum.

One wrong detail isn’t going to necessarily kill you on a date unless she notices you’re a full two inches shorter or thirty pounds heavier, but why risk it? You can get away with a few little white lies, but that is all. However, if you let them turn into a mountain of untruths, it will finally catch up with you. Just hope that she’s not crazy.

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#7 – Not Reading Her Profile

In most cases, you won’t ever swoop a girl whose profile you neglected to read.

But who are we kidding? Men are visual creatures and go straight to the pictures. Women know this too. That’s fine.

What’s not fine, is completely disregarding or ignoring her profile. Unless you’re ridiculously good-looking, she won’t let you off the hook (exceptions: extremely dim-witted, attractive women or those who gave out little to no information to begin with).

By not incorporating details from her profile into at least one of your messages or in-person conversations, in her eyes you are not getting to know her. To women, this is extremely important because this is how they connect with you on basic, emotional levels. For men, these facts and personal tidbits are tools to keep the conversation going.

An accomplished online dater quickly skims a profile and picks out a few pieces of useful information (travel experience, a favorite book, or something in common) to comment on when the opportunity presents itself.

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#6 – Poor Strategy / Screening Methods

If you jump into online dating half-assed, half-cocked… you won’t be rewarded for your lack of effort or enthusiasm. You have to know what you want and how to get it in the most practical, efficient way possible.

You need a plan.

Some examples of poor planning include: not knowing what you want, spending inordinate amounts of time on each profile, using “pay-for” sites with millions of dead profiles, and being guilty of numbers #5 through #10 (below). Treat it like a competition. You are after all, competing against all the other men in your city.

You get what you put in.

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#5 – Poor Grammar and Spelling

This should be pretty self-explanatory. Guys who take short cuts or lack common knowledge of proper grammar are the last people a girl is going to respond to (non-native speakers are usually given a pass). The following messages and phrases are just a few examples of what not to do:

  • hey u wats up?
  • yo baby u lookn gud
  • Heey sxy wana fuk?
  • misuing their / they’re / there — or any other combination of similar sounding words
  • most forms of textspeak/netspeak= fail

Some of you may not think it’s a big deal, but trust me… it’s near the top of the list for a reason.

Intelligence is sexy.

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#4 – Being Needy

If there’s one thing that instantaneously destroys a girl’s interest in you, it’s needy behavior. 

To avoid appearing overeager or needy on a dating site, you have to pay attention to what you say and how you say it before it’s too late. If this means having a friend (preferably female) read over your profile or messages beforehand, so be it.

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#3 – Boring, Uninteresting, or Offensive Profiles

Most guys simply do not understand what women are looking for (even they don’t). If you haven’t yet chosen a persona or motif, girls will often write you off as another loser (i.e. if you have an inappropriate username). What this means is you’ve yet to identify what you are offering. Too much joking around and you may scare woman away. Too serious and you bore them to death.

Are you one of the following, or have you defined yourself as something else entirely?

The Witty and Cool ‘I don’t take this site seriously’ Guy
The Intelligent, Sophisticated, Well-Traveled Man
The Fun, Laid-Back, Outdoorsy Guy
The Ridiculously Attractive Man
The Charming “Romantic”
The Billionaire Playboy

Your profile and the messages you send all depend on the online persona you’ve created. Whatever you choose, your writing should convey your life experiences, hobbies, and personal interests in a way that shows (not tells) what type of person you are. You’ll also need to make sure can deliver in person (see #8 above).

There’s a fine line between being funny and going overboard. Be sure to get a second or third opinion.

Less is more. Women desire mysterious men, so don’t include every single movie or book that you’ve read (I’ve seen it). Be witty but brief. Give women something to chew on, nothing more.

All it takes is one bad piece of information for a woman to write you off as a creep, a weirdo, a player, and so on. This is why I also don’t recommend talking over the phone before your first date. It’s too easy to say something that preemptively scares her away. If you are incredible over the phone, then by all means woo her with your voice. Otherwise, you’re better off keeping your interpersonal interactions (i.e. texting/calling) to a minimum.

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#2 – Bad Pictures

We know men are shallow. In the online dating world, women take it to another level. This is the number one reason having great pictures that show who you are is so important. You know how important first impressions are in the real world.

Your profile picture (and opening paragraph) is your one moment to catch a girl’s eye. You can have the most witty profile in the world and send messages that would have models mailing you their panties, but if your photos suck… you’re done.

Loveawake blog did two great write-ups on pictures. Learn from their findings and you will see a huge leap in response rates, especially if your previous pictures were terrible.

What’s important? TLDR Version:

If you don’t have any high quality or recent photos, then you’d better get to work.

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#1 – Poor Communication

Game.

You either have it or you don’t. The whole point of online dating is to connect and interact with people to meet in the real world. Internet game is no different. So if your social and communication skills are already severely lacking, no amount of preparation will carry you through the trials and tribulations of online dating. Fret not, for there are some things you can avoid doing that will improve your odds.

You’d be surprised how many guys out there have absolutely no idea they are making these kinds of mistakes repeatedly. With any luck, you no longer will.

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